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The Tasks of Modern Love | by Olya Eysmont, Certified Practitioner

Modern dating and breakups confound us. They often leave us unsettled, with unanswered questions and unfinished conversations. We search for meaning, feeling dull heartache. Beneath this confusion lies an invitation: Listen more deeply and respond to what is being asked of you.

It can feel like a monumental task, but if we proceed with small, sure steps, we can achieve it. For inspiration and strength, we can look to the ancient myths and their hidden wisdom.

Consider the myth of the princess Psyche. Her beauty spiked the ire of the goddess Venus, just as it enamored Cupid, Venus’s son.

As the story goes, Cupid fell in love with Psyche and visited her only at night. She was forbidden from seeing him; he warned her that her curiosity would be her downfall.  She didn’t listen and instead lit a candle, causing Cupid to flee.

The scene represents a common trope…the hero breaks the barrier and in doing so, begins a journey of self-discovery. We can see this trope in the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden after they ate of the forbidden fruit; it also echoes in the myth of Orpheus, who looks back at Euridice against Hades’ instructions and loses the love of his life.

Do we not follow this pattern in our own lives, tempted by the taboo, seduced by the thrill of the chase, or fueled by external pressures and expectations?

 

Are you interested in exploring past relationship dynamics and developing techniques to clear the blockages holding you back from a more fulfilled, empowered future?  Join Olya Eysmont starting March 25 for her workshop, Returning to Love: Healing Your Heartbreak.  You’ll discover new Saphire® Imagery exercises that hone your inner strength and open your dreams to create new possibilities. Learn more and register here!

 

Later in the story, Venus tasks Psyche with four impossible challenges. In meeting those challenges, she undergoes four transformations of self.  Each task strengthens her foundation and ultimately proves her worthy of love. What might this myth be asking of us in the context of modern dating?  It isn’t about being good enough to deserve love, but having the inner structure to be able to meet love consciously.

When a relationship breaks apart, there’s a catalyst. When the virtue of love fractures, we are shocked awake with deep questions: How do I want to love, and be loved? Where have I strayed from my true form, and how do I return?

What if, like Psyche, entrenched in the tasks set before her by Venus, the goddess of love herself, we are being asked to persevere?  It may seem impossible to do this all over again: to move forward and trust that you can fall in love again as if for the first time. It is easy to feel doomed while trying to fall innocently into love, despite having lost the innocence of our perception.

And so, we carry our stories, bitterness, and cynicism, hiding them deep within. Or we keep the love we yearn for at arm’s length, at a carefully controlled distance, so the heart will not be hurt again.

We do not have to be destroyed by heartache. It can initiate action in us, like it did to Psyche. That action is transformation, through commitment to your inner self, and the desire to plunge within to reshape yourself without illusion. In this way, heartbreak becomes a threshold rather than a failure. Something old dissolves and something stronger takes form: deeper capacity for love that’s conscious and awake.